people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My vagina is very pro this idea
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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