You really coming over, don't trick.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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