Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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