i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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