dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
