think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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