I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
