I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
