I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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