I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
