She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
