in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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