you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
