I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it hurts more in the daytime
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
