bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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