Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
