Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
