We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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