I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
