I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
