He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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