The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
