At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
