Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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