We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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