Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
