so that wasnt chicken after all
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
