Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
