if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
