You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
