I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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