So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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