Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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