people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he shaved USA in his pubs
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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