You're earring is so big in my mouth
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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