I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
