remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
