absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
