It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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