i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
