No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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