Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
