margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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