I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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