I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
