I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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