you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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