she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
