In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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