Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
